“This morning my new lotus is leaning up against the edge of the pot. It’s delicacy seems exaggerated, profound.
Nature heals through her language and spirit
I remember vividly the first time I returned to nature (as an adult). I mean really returned. Not just entering her, for pleasure or as a means of moving from one place to another and appreciating a glimpse of her, a sensation of calm in my body. I mean really awakening to her; meeting her, hearing her, being fully with her.
She transforms us
There I was, laying under the stars in the forest. I had been camping for a few days on the rivers edge, no one around for miles. My ex-partner and the kids were asleep in the tent, we had reunited (after a difficult separation) for a ‘family’ holiday, to create peace, to move on gracefully, for the kids. I lay under the stars for some time. As I lay there looking into the vastness of the sky, a silence filled me, a shift occurred. Suddenly, the entire sky opened up.
My heart expanded
The sounds of the universe, sweeter than the strumming of a harp, filled me, became me. I felt I was completely one with all that is. All sense of division, all separation dissipated. The harmony of totality, of the universe was all there was. I had become that.
Her language is that of spirit
I shifted in and out of the pouring of Grace. One moment immersed in her splendor, undivided and the next laying agasp with awe and reverence. If angels exist, they filled my heart that night with melodies of divine harmonics; ineffable, more real than life itself. I experienced patterns and symbols of light, magnificent hues, speaking a language of unconditional love and unfathomable harmony. Resounding in my every cell and beyond, through the river, the forest, the sky; in absolute unity.
Now, I felt a pull from the forest; a sound, a voice, a tug. I could no longer differentiate. I knew I had to go into the forest. It was dark, I was alone; fear over took me. I realised I had never been into the forest alone. And, it was pitch black. The glory had left me. I was separated again. The forest was no longer a part of me, it was an enemy, a danger. The river now something dark and full of threat; risky business. Separate. Division was accumulating fast, terror was filling my chest, the harmonic sounds of the angels now monsters of heavy metal thrashing my senses.
Listen to her – she loves you
So, I stopped, and gathered myself. I knew I was going in. Legs trembling, a feeling of death in my heart, I grabbed the torch and went along my way. I walked and walked and walked, trusting, belligerent as the fear moved through every ounce of my being.
And, I stopped, the torch had gone flat, I was lost. The terror penetrated all levels of My self. I stood there, in shock. 10 or so minutes passed and I began to relax, to remember. To remember the feelings of the sounds of the sky of the stars of the universe. The friendliness of the river, the plea of the forest, the warmth of the harp strings upon my heart.
I let go!
So, I sat quietly on the forest ground, withdrawing from the remaining fear. I looked into the dark, told her I was not afraid of her. I spoke to the snakes “I’m not scared of you, if you need to come and get me, so be it.” My body began to relax. Now, I spoke to all the wild things, “I’m not here to hurt you, Let’s just be together”. I fell into peace.
Surrender into her essence
I sat and sat and sat. Moving the remnants of fear through me. Each moment tentative. Looking the darkness straight in the eyes. Rubbing up against it. Holding it in my chest. Sinking, sinking into my self, into the forest awe. I could hear rustling in the long grass a meter away and I relaxed into the sound, sensing it in my body. I felt something strange crawl on my leg and I lay down letting it all be ok. Letting the movement, the vibration of the forest and her creatures move through me, upon me.
Now, as I lay there, all thoughts fell away, I embraced the stillness and the peace within. Flashback of childhood arose. I remembered her, Mother Nature, how I would play with her, in my youth. How I loved to sit under the willow tree for hours, imaginings of philosophical conversations filling my head. How I’d run along the river chasing the turtles along the sloping dirt banks. Unbounded freedom. How I’d eat the plums from our tree outback, (pulling the worms from their juices, staring in awe at them before returning them to the ground), devouring their glorious fullness. The plums, not the worms. We had respect for the worms. We’d put them back in the soil, we knew they were valuable.
Nature heals, she remembers
Next, I had visions of my young self at the beach, at the creek, in the paddocks, the mountains, climbing trees, playing with lizards, hunting snails to watch their trails form glistering delights of wonder upon the cemented pathways. I remembered that mother nature was my closest friend and I had missed her. I remembered she was safe, as long as I listened to her, understood her, respected her. That she is me. Tears fell seamlessly down my cheeks.
I dropped into the feeling of the forest. I made a vow to go back to nature. To be conscious of her, to learn about her, to listen to her, to live intentionally with her. To enjoy and honour her. I stood up and began to walk, asking her to guide me back. I somehow knew she could, she would. A little bird with a shiny blue chest flew by and I followed it playfully, with curiosity and five minutes later I was standing on the edge of the forest. I could see and feel my healing ‘family’ sleeping peacefully in the tent.
“This morning my new lotus is leaning up against the edge of the pot. It’s delicacy seems exaggerated, profound.
Warm Blessings
Megan
Warm Blessings
Megan
Megan Jackson runs meditation and yoga retreats for women. She has been immersed in spiritual practice and study for 15 years, living it fully, with humility and compassion as her backbones for progress. She lives a quiet life reflecting on the dharma, being with nature and helping others who are wanting change, transformation or spiritual wisdom.
Join Megan for her Meditation & Yoga Retreats in Bali 2020
